Week 3

Structure

With the help of my father’s speech therapist, we developed a daily schedule for him to follow. Consciously or not, I believe we all crave the structure and sense of order schedules provide. It’s human nature to need daily routines that give us a sense of certainty.  A goal of the schedule is to keep my dad accountable for the household tasks he is now responsible for – laundry, taking in the newspaper, bringing in the trash and recycling cans, etc…    These are all things our aid would do for him when she was here and so while he’s completely capable of doing these tasks he’s just not used to it.  Sure, I could do them for him but my goal is for him to be more engaged in managing his own life. This same sentiment also goes for other aspects of his life, including how he approaches his doctor appointments.  Urging him to check himself in at an appointment last week resulted in him responding to the receptionist’s question of, “How can I help you?”  with, “I’ll take s scotch and soda, please,” but I still think it was a useful exercise. After all, he achieved his desired outcome, which was a laugh from the staff.   As small as these tasks are, I believe they are beneficial for his self-esteem, as when he completes them he feels even the smallest amount of accomplishment.

We need to get to a place where he is independently  reviewing his schedule and staying on task so that I am not constantly hovering, reminding him of what he needs to do and in his words, driving him absolutely crazy.  Finding the balance of supporting and encouraging versus pushing and nagging  is difficult but I’m hopeful it will get easier.  Telling him that this is all for his own good doesn’t work, which I should have known because it didn’t work when he used to take that approach with me.  It just makes him agitated, which I suppose is natural.   After all, he’s living with a person constantly challenging and pushing him, bussing him around from appointment to appointment and practically force-feeding him vegetables.   Maybe some meatballs would cheer him up.  Think he’ll notice if they’re vegan?

Birdman

Good friends, Laura and Dave, recommended grocery shopping at Sprouts in Towson, so upon their recommendation we decided to check it out after a visit that had taken us to that part of town.  They were right, the place is amazing, but that’s not what made this trip so memorable.  Our dog, Cecil came along with us to the grocery store and having him riding in our cart encouraged others to approach and strike up conversation. Through Cecil, we met ‘Birdman’  who introduced himself as such based on his absolutely amazing ability to reproduce the whistle of any bird.  He performed a few different calls for us and then shared how he does this for all of the children in his neighborhood. The kids get so happy and excited to see him, which in Birdman’s opinion, is what life is all about – bringing joy to others. He says spreading happiness, love and joy is what he lives for and isn’t he right? What could be more important? We were so happy to have met him and it was obvious to me he and my father were kindred spirits, who under the right circumstances would have been fast friends. Oh, and we found some cheap avocados too!

Weekend Update

The weekend brought with it visitors and a trip to Ft. Howard Park.  Friends of mine from work stopped by Friday night and later in the weekend three of my father’s former students paid us a visit.  Having company is fun for the both of us and especially good for my father. I can see a visible difference in him when people are visiting – he’s putting on his best self, actively trying to be sharper, to play host and to be engaging. Not that he has to try very hard to be charming, that always has come naturally to him.  The visit from his former students was really very special.  The ladies shared so many wonderful memories that brought him back to a time he holds very dear.  Although my father was a very successful medical sales rep for most of his career, it’s the  time he spent teaching that is most meaningful to him.  Knowing he made a difference in the lives of these students and that they not only still remember him, but care for him means the world.  And, they brought cake! 

If you live in the Baltimore area, I’d highly recommend you check out Fort Howard Park if you haven’t yet. It’s  about 25 minutes outside of the city, free to enter and has gorgeous views.  We meandered around for a bit, taking it all in before finding the little garden in the picture above. Check out the inscription on the plaque. ‘Make it a great day or not.  The choice is yours!’  My dad read it and exclaimed how much he liked it. If you’ve been keeping up with the blog, you’ve seen the quote about choosing joy, which makes it such a coincidence, or perhaps actually no coincidence at all,  that we stumbled across this same sentiment here. 

I’ll leave you today with the lyrics from last Friday’s song of the day, the Allman Brothers’ song, ‘Revival’,  What’s a song of the day?  You know when you bite into that perfect piece of pizza, cake, or whatever you’re craving at that very moment and it just hits the spot?  The song of the day is the musical equivalent of that.  It’s when you hear a tune that vibes with your current mood, speaks to you and makes you feel something inside. It hits the spot just like your fave food might, but for your soul instead. 

People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you hear it? 
The song is in the air
We’re in a revolution 
Don’t you know we’re right
Everyone is singing, yeah
There’ll be no one to fight
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere
People can you feel it? 
Love is everywhere