Living with my dad and taking care of him has been such a joy, even though it does come with some challenges. Something I didn’t see coming, was the loneliness. Missing the daily interaction with my friends and coworkers was at first overshadowed by the fact that I am actually, never alone. Every day is spent with my father, answering his questions, taking him to appointments, coaching him to continue pushing himself, giving him his medications, cooking for him and basically, attending to his every need. It’s a weird contradiction of feelings to just want time to yourself, yet also feeling alone at the same time. It took me some time to acknowledge and understand this bizarre new reality.
Before moving in with my father, I was living with my husband in a neighborhood that became the destination for many of my closest college friends. I was commuting to the office daily, surrounded by amazing colleagues and coming home every night to spend time with my husband and neighbors that had been friends of mine for the majority of my life. I kept my social calendar full and was having a blast.
Things are different now – I have been living separately from my husband for almost two years in a lovely, yet remote area and I’m no longer working, I miss the day to day of what seemed so normal and hum drum then – collaborating with colleagues, living in a neighborhood of lifelong friends and seeing my husband daily too of course, but let’s not tell him that. ; )
All that aside, I am so incredibly thankful for the support I have been receiving. The community rallying around me gives this ‘we’ve got you back’ type of feeling. Whether it’s virtual, coming through as messages on social networks or the blog, texts/calls, visits to our house, or time spent out and about together, it’s all been so immensely uplifting. All of it has been such an incredible source of support that has me feeling a sort of strength in numbers type of comfort. I feel a true unity in this community and it’s helping me help him. Thank you!
We can’t underestimate the power of community and the feeling of togetherness and strength that comes from it. If you’re a caregiver, don’t isolate yourself from your support system. It can be easy to have tunnel-vision, only focusing on managing the day to day of the person you’re caring for, and forget about the outside world that includes those who care about you. Reach out to others when you need a friend and when they reach out to you, do not forget to respond. For those of you that have friends or family that are caregivers, please know that every interaction or word of encouragement you share with them is giving them the energy to carry on. There truly is unity in our community. We’re doing this together and I couldn’t be more thankful.
The Stay at Home Daughter 